Come for the burgers, stay for the cocktails. Photo: Lucy Ridge.
Squeaky Clean knows exactly what it’s about, and that’s what makes this place so goddamn charming (albeit in a grungy, loud, dive bar kind of way). Entering from Verity Lane, you climb stairs adorned with graffiti and vibrating with beats. Before you reach the top, the House Rules are emblazoned on the wall and spell out the vibe.
And while this may be a dive bar, it’s a surprisingly wholesome one.
Squeaky Clean definitely has late-night energy, but if you’re an early bird, you can take advantage of one of the more generous Happy Hours I’ve seen: a free beer with any burger purchased before 6 pm. They also run this special offer all night on Wednesdays, but I visited on a Tuesday at 7 pm, so I’m paying for the lot (which comes out at a very affordable $30).
I’ve heard a lot about the cheeseburgers at Squeaky’s – some have even raved that they are the best in Canberra, so I am curious to see what the fuss is all about. At first glance, the ‘kitchen’ is really just the other end of the bar, and the same bartender who poured my beer is also flipping my burger. So I’m cautiously optimistic when the bun arrives with a hefty portion of spiced crisps, and a salad consisting of a few spears of cos lettuce, a thick slice of tomato and three rings of fresh, sweet onion.
The burger of all burgers (the salad is behind the kettle chips). Photo: Lucy Ridge.
The Three Mills Potato bun is outrageously soft, the cheddar cheese is an ungodly colour and drips down the generously portioned patty. I take a bite, and it’s like I’ve stumbled across the Platonic ideal of a cheeseburger. The pickles are thick and sweet, the meat is juicy, and when washed down with a beer, the whole thing sings. Is this the proto-burger upon which all other burgers are based? It tastes how you imagine burgers from Maccas should taste (but never do).
I feel like I’ve stepped into The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I was craving a cheeseburger, and I was served exactly what I imagined.
But for all my raving, what makes this burger excellent is its simplicity. No frills, no fuss, just good honest grub.
The house rules give you a clear indication that while irreverent, there’s no tolerance for creeps at Squeakys. Photo: Lucy Ridge.
I’m on the non-alc beers tonight, but the lineup of taps is respectable, and I’ve been told to try the Death Pasito (made in-house), which will have to wait for another night. They also make tacos (pork neck al pastor or shiitake adobo) and have an Impossible Patty burger option for vegans.
There’s a group of mates further down the bar playing pool, and a few young waiters from a neighbouring restaurant pop in for dinner on their break (tea towels are still hanging from their back pockets). Squeaky’s is a popular post-service hangout for local hospos working in the city because they’re open until 2 am, no matter what. The music is loud but not painful, one of the Twilight movies is playing on the big screen above the bar (but nobody is watching), and there’s a Big Buck Hunter machine in the corner, which I’m told gets a workout on weekends.
Squeaky Clean also hosts regular live music, and if you’re into silly shenanigans, their Instagram page is worth a follow.
Squeaky Clean owner Jonathan Murphy makes an obsession-worthy burger. Photo: Squeaky Clean.
Owner Jono Murphy and his team have crafted out a space that manages to be edgy but friendly, grungy but nice, silly on the surface, but dead serious about flavour underneath.
Squeaky Clean is located upstairs at 45 Verity Lane, Canberra City. They are open seven days a week from 4 pm until 2 am (from midday on Fridays). Follow Squeaky Clean on Instagram.
Original Article published by Lucy Ridge on Region Canberra.
