The Telegraph Hotel is only an hour from Canberra but feels a world away. Photo: The Telegraph Hotel.
If I told you there’s a pub slinging $13 schnitzels and pouring $4 happy hour drinks, you’d be forgiven for thinking I’d lost the plot or possibly got my hands on a DeLorean and a mad Doc. Yet, it’s real, and it’s just an hour from Canberra. It’s the Telegraph Hotel in Gunning.
Originally built in the 1880s, with the current facade reflecting a Federation style that came about with the later addition of the top floor, the pub has somehow defied inflation for at least two decades, and it might just be the antidote we all need with interest rates on the march and the ominous petrol situation.
The $13 schnitzel isn’t an everyday affair; you’ll have to head there on a Monday from 5 pm to nab that deal. Nail your timing between 6 pm and 7 pm, and you’ll land that $4 schooner or house wine with enough time to be home before the plutonium runs out.
The schnitzel isn’t the only menu item that’s bucking the economic trend. The roast special, which hits the menu occasionally, consists of a chockablock plate of meat, veg, gravy and dinner rolls. The generous serve is a miserly $20.
Pizza night, which rolls around every Thursday, starts at $16, and on any night of the week, a calamari meal, prawn cutlet meal, salt and pepper squid, or battered flathead will all leave you with change from $20.
When the special roast nights pop up at the Telegraph Hotel, you won’t find a better value dinner. Photo: Telegraph Hotel, Gunning.
While the price of food alone might be reason enough to head out to Gunning and check out the local, there are a few other reasons to head there. Walking through the door in the late afternoon, this feels like the sort of place where the rhythms of country life have remained unchanged for more than 100 years.
Leaning against the brick bar and scattered around on tall barstools is an array of locals partaking in the time-honoured tradition of giving the publican a hard time.
At this time of day, my mere presence has shifted the demographic to include more than one gender, and no one minds.
I quietly prop myself up with a schooner and listen in to the chatter like any good writer would do. There’s no talk of politics and no one staring at their mobile phone, just real people ‘shooting the shit’, as we say in the country. The camaraderie is ever-present, and the big belly laughs aplenty.
Hanging from a majority of the available wall space is what seems to have become compulsory signage for country pubs. One that catches my eye has a buxom woman in a red dress with the caption. “The boobs are real, the smile is fake.” Trying to work out if this is a pro-feminist statement, I imagine the factory that churns these things out. They’re like internet memes brought to life and printed on metal for the sole purpose of being distributed around the country for the amusement of drinkers.
The main bar is a place where the rhythms of country life remain unchanged. Photo: Tenele Conway.
Out front in the afternoon sun is a row of picnic tables. When I have my fill of local gossip, I head out there to take in the sunshine and the passing procession of farmers and school kids heading home for the day. Despite the Hume Highway being rerouted in 1993, the main street is still surprisingly busy, but the type of traffic really speaks to the rural lifestyle out here – utes and trucks prevail.
The local butcher, Haylee Laidely, tells me the lifestyle in the town is wonderful for a growing family. The kids have freedoms they wouldn’t have in a city, and the people band together to help each other out.
As the afternoon wears on, a few women join the flock; one woman runs in to grab a case of beer in the hopes of keeping the shearers happy for a few more days, and one sits with her dog on the front porch and tells me her name is Sally. The locals press another woman for the local gossip, and she replies that she has ‘bugger all’ to share, and they all sigh at the state of it.
Not to name names, but many of our rural towns this close to Canberra have become satellite outposts for city commuters looking for a rural lifestyle, and in turn, that rural ethos slowly disappears as they move there in greater numbers. Not here in Gunning, and if you need a break from the stresses of modern life, and the cheapest schnitzel that you’re ever likely to find, then consider the Telegraph Hotel.
The Telegraph Hotel is located at 58 Yass Street, Gunning and is open 7 days a week. Check the website for opening hours and weekly events. And there are meat tray raffles on Friday (of course!)
Original Article published by Tenele Conway on Region Canberra.
